Preheat the oven to 350 F (180 C) and spray a large 3 quart baking dish with cooking spray. (You can use smaller individual dishes if desired.)
Bring a large pot of boiling salted water to a boil. (1-2 T salt). When the water boils, add the pasta and cook according to the package directions. It should still have a bit of bite to it since you will be cooking it again in the oven. When finished, drain pasta and set aside (or add directly to the sauce if the timing works out.)
While the water is boiling and the pasta is cooking, melt 4 T (56 g) of the butter in a large saucepan over low heat. Add the ⅓ cup (43 g) flour. Stir with whisk to combine into a paste and cook for about 2 minutes until the mixture starts to darken a little bit. While whisking, add the milk, stirring constantly. Cook over medium heat until the mixture starts to thicken to the point that it coats the back of a spoon. (This can take up to 7 or 8 minutes but it may be sooner.)
Reduce heat to low (or remove from heat) and add the Gruyere, cheddar, ½ cup of the parmesan cheese, 1 ½ tsp salt, ½ tsp black pepper, ½ tsp nutmeg, ¼ tsp Cayenne, and stir until completely smooth. Combine the sauce and the pasta in either the cheese saucepan or the pasta pot, depending on where it fits. Gently stir in lobster meat, reserving a little bit for the top if desired. Transfer pasta to the baking dish. (If you are making ahead, stop at this point. Allow mac and cheese to cool for 30 minutes to 1 hour and then cover and refrigerate. Before cooking and moving to the next step, allow the casserole to come to room temperature for about an hour.)
Melt the remaining 2 T (28 g) butter and combine with 1 cup of Panko bread crumbs and ¼ cup of Parmesan cheese. Sprinkle the breadcrumb mixture over the macaroni and cheese. Place the casserole dish in the oven that has been preheated to 350 F (180 C) and bake for approximately 30-40 minutes. (Smaller dishes will take less time, approximately 20 minutes.) The sauce will be bubbling and the breadcrumbs should be browning on top. (If you have prepared it ahead, bake uncovered in an oven preheated to 350 F (180 C) oven for 40-50 minutes or done.)
Garnish with reserved lobster meat and chives if desired. (I sometimes sauté the reserved lobster meat with a little butter and lemon juice to make it extra special.)